Wow.

Fare thee well, sir... May a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest...


Cubs Trade Sosa for Hairston Jr.

*I don't understand the sudden lack of img hosting all of a sudden*

In other news...

Had a dream the other night that disturbed in a way that can't really be explained. It was one of those dreams you have and it puts you off your routine the rest of the week. It has yet to get out of my head. Man, I just need Erin to give me a call once in a while.

Ah, yes. I also got the parts of Puck and Philostrate in the upcoming Oakton presentation of "A Midsummer Night's Dream." Tiiilated and titilation.

Now Playing: Oval - "Cross Selling"

1:01 a.m.

Well folks, my semester begins this morning...

I did absolutely nothing this break. NOTHING... Oh well.

In any case, I get reunited with Sonja in class tomorrow morning and we may end up getting together for a read through of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in preparation for her first Shakespearean audition. I'm excited for her as well as myself. I have a few new ideas for the way I deliver the dialogue this time around, and I have a really great relationship with the director, so all should be well.

In other news...

It's been one year since Erin and I separated... I'm not over her.

My thoughts drift to her almost predictably every night. Yet each time they do, it feels new and wonderful. Warmth surrounds my body. I feel so comfortable with myself when I think of her. I wish I could bottle that feeling and give it to the world because it would cure so much, it really would... But inevitably my horrid imagination runs wild and I end up with insomnia everynight, trying to stop the madness my mind creates until I eventually collapse at about 5:30 every morning. I wake up exhausted and sometimes can't even get out of bed. This is not typical for me. I'm used to being able to pop right out of bed and enjoy the fact that I have a whole day ahead of me.

I wish I could fall asleep during the moment in which I feel warm and loved. However, its always the cold, betrayed, and cast-aside feeling that ends up using me as a blanket.

As much as it pains me... I don't want to get over her... You're everything to me, Erin. You're too much to me, Erin.

Now Playing: Nick Drake - "Things Behind the Sun"

In Search of Advice...

Hey ya.

Well, I've been on the otherside of the ball lately. Usually I'm excellent at giving advice. I'm the guy you go to for good, impartial guidance. Now that I've reached a point in my life where I really need to start making decisions regarding my life rather than those of people around me, I'm pretty much lost. I have even put myself in the shoes of someone looking for advice from me. I wondered what I would say to someone in my situation and I have failed every time. I'm not going to get into the advice I need as far as romance and personal relationships are concered, but I am worried about my choices as far as career and extra-curricular activities.

Last summer, after a simply dreadful season of Oakton baseball, I made the decision that it was time to move on from competitive baseball. I called the coach and told him that I would not be returning. Frankly, he was one reason I had decided to call it quits. It was unlikely I would have even been a blip on the radar for him anyway, but by calling him, I ruled out even getting a shot at playing with the team in 2005.

I made this decision because I felt I had to. I was not happy with my life at that point and I thought being focused on baseball was part of that unhappiness. I am now realizing that I may have made a big mistake. I plan on speaking with the coach (basically begging)about getting a look for a roster spot. He would not question my commitment I don't think, but I don't know if there is even an openning on the infield.

I saw what kind of players he got this past season to replace the bulky, steroid-injected meatheads we had last season and I wasn't really impressed. Oakton is going through a rebuilding process (well, the community college version of one anyway) and I have been told by some guys I knew on the team that they are desperate for help. Nonetheless, I want a shot...

And this is where the conundrum comes in.

By playing ball (lets say I make the team), I would rule out being in any plays until next fall. Considering this is the career field I plan on choosing, taking almost a year off of acting is not a good idea. I am torn. I have visions of playing ball at a higher level than even college and yet I am certain I can perform on stage with the best of them.

I need advice... Or a sign. A broken leg. A torn ACL. Getting shot in the voicebox. Anything. Any sign right now would help me. But since I'm me, I can't find any good advice.

Now Playing: Oval - "Commerce Server"

Sorry, the hectic caidence of this song kind of caused that last paragraph. But I kinda do mean it... In some way.

Lots to Say + No Motivation =

Happy New Year, world. All I ask is that 2005 is not as crappy as 2004 was.

Some good things about 2004...

- Good year in film (Ebert's top 10 won't doesn't show that however)
- Got a scholarship for two free semesters of school
- Was selected to be an honors student
- Made a collegiate baseball team and stayed on for an entire school year
- Did some very nice volunteer work
- Finally met real people at Oakton
- The Cubs posted their best record in my history as a Cubs fan (as well as signed Greg Maddux)
- The Bulls had their first extended win streak since the dynasty years
- Got a job at Old Navy... (the good part is the people, not the 2:30 a.m. closings)
- Saw Macha and was introduced to their music
- Saw Mouse on Mars
- Saw The Walkmen
- Saw Modest Mouse
- Played Billy Robbins in "An American Daughter"
- & reunited myself with an old friend through the comedic stylings of the Grim Reaper (Death as Death in "The Death Show")

Don't let it fool you. Its been a terrible year. The list of things that went bad this year is basically the rest of this blog. So feel free to take a gander at the debacle that was Mike's 2004.

Now Playing: Oval - "Hallodraussen"