"Ihhhhhhdiuht!"

Thought I'd log on to tell you guys that I am currently pulling an all-nighter for an assigment that is (as I just recollected) not due until next week.

Brain, I'm so sorry.

In other news... I'm gonna hang out with Erin tonight. Yeah, I know she's been home a week and I haven't seen her... So?... Neither of our faults. I've been busy as shit and she's had her own shit to deal with...

But man, it was great to hear her say that she missed me. That fact that it may just be her being nice?... STUFF YOU.

Anyway, I'm going to try to attempt to keep my hands off her. But if she asks for... oh... I don't know... a massage, I'm making no guarantees I can do that.

Whatever. I'm haning out with my best friend again. And, frankly, that's pretty sweet in itself.

Now Playing: M83 - "Gone"

Real Genius... Why, Thank You!

"I want to start seeing more of you in the lab."

"Fine. I'll gain weight."

Fantastic stuff, that Val Kilmer is.

Anyway... Midsummers is going well. My Oberon found my blog while searching the web for our scheduel and told me I should "just let some things go." It's a good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.

"He says it's a good thing you don't know how much he hates you guts."

Keep up the good work, Matt!

Now Playing: The Arcade Fire - "Neighborhood #2 (Laika)"

Ack...

August 2003 - (now) March 2005... A Barren Wasteland.

...

Ack...

Now Playing: My Morning Jacket - "Can You See the Hard Helmet on My Head?"

Old Blog-Spawns...

Reading some entries from last summer, (because I'm the sort of fuck that would try to cure insomnia by reading his own journal out loud) I'm kinda realizing what interesting a read this could be for some random person. Dramatic. But nonetheless, interesting.

Oh, it would be fantastic if some of the people I've mentioned could read this stuff. But no one goes out and says "Hey, read what I wrote about you in private!"

However, I put a lot of my emotions on this blog much better than I did at the time in person. And I used to write a whole lot gooder, too. Like... a writer or something.

Nonetheless, this has been an overall successful blog. I commemorate it for being so and hope that if any one is to take notice of it, that it would be an aforementioned person.

One of which is, as always, Erin. However, the detatchment has grown so much that I'm looking on these pages with such stoicism that I just had to push my chair back and wonder at the fact that I'm taking the words at face value. I'm not really letting them sink in as much anymore. Personally, I'm pretty sure it's just my brain naturally evolving and adapting itself so that it doesn't have to deal with any of that heavy-as-jibralter baggage.

And Sonja? So adorable. So wonderful. So not gonna happen. What a funny mindset I have.

Now Playing: Koushik - "Ew"

A Fun Mix...

"It's Spring. It's Your Life."

DISC ONE.

1. Sunny Day Real Estate - "100 Million"
2. Mouse on Mars - "Wipe That Sound"
3. Talking Heads - "Don't Worry About the Government"
4. Colin Newman - "1, 2, 3, Beep Beep"
5. Kula Shaker - "Govinda"
6. Walkmen - "Rue the Day"
7. Townes Van Zandt - "Snake Mountain Blues"
8. A.C. Newman - "Drink to Me, Babe, Then"
9. Robert Bradley's Blackwater Surprise - "Once Upon a Time"
10. Orange Juice - "Felicity"
11. Hüsker Dü - "Never Talking to You Again"
12. The Rapture - "Olio"
13. Tom Waits - "Goin' Out West"
14. My Bloody Valentine - "I Only Said"
15. Bailterspace - "X"
16. Sunny Day Real Estate - "Every Shining Time You Arrive"
17. Manitoba - "Kacknuggeted"
18. Koushik - "Pretty Soon"
19. Townes Van Zandt - "Why She's Acting This Way"
20. Modest Mouse - "The Good Times are Killing Me"

DISC TWO.

1. Tom Waits - "Black Wings"
2. My Morning Jacket - "Can You See the Hard Helmet on My Head?"
3. The Arcade Fire - "Une Année Sans Lumière"
4. Dirt on Purpose - "Mind Blindness"
5. Rogue Wave - "Endgame"
6. Koushik - "Ew"
7. Mason Jennings - "Lemon Grove Avenue"
8. Iron & Wine - "Upward Over the Mountain"
9. Ratatat - "Bustelo"
10. Tori Amos - "Virginia"
11. The Field Mice - "And Before the First Kiss"
12. My Morning Jacket - "Lowdown"
13. Modest Mouse - "The World at Large"
14. Mike Stanislawski - "Climbig the Timeline"
15. Calexico - "Crooked Road and the Briar"
16. Gary Jules - "Mad World"
17. Tom Waits (w/ Keith Richards) - "That Feel"
18. Townes Van Zandt - "St. John the Gambler"

Now Playing: Ratatat - "Bustelo"

Happiness Relies on...

...not putting Black Magic in my hair. I have washed my hair three times and that shit is still in there.

Gaaauud.

I have no use for this blog other than to say that parts of my life have the possibility of appearing on a computer screen somehwere in South Africa where some Afrikaaner is wondering what the average life of an American is like...

Aaaaanyway...

Life is going by pretty fast. I was thinking to myself how college is almost half over. I'm not really disapointed in what I've accomplished or anything because I think I've done a lot more than most people, and they somehow turn out happy once in a while. It's just odd is all. I wonder where I'll be in two more years... Hell, I don't know where I'm gonna be in two months. Christ.

I invited everyone at Northside to Midsummers. Chances of any of them showing up? Probably the same as an ardvaark getting caught in the engine of a jet in flight.

I miss touching you. I just want these cold dead hands of mine to feel something warm again. Happiness relies on your touch. This can't go on and I can't realize this.

Now Playing: Townes Van Zandt - "St. John the Gambler"

NewsNewsNews...

MIDSUMMER OPENS THIS WEEK!!! ANYONE WITH A PULSE MUST BE THERE. EVERY THURS - SAT NIGHT (8 P.M.) & SUN AFTERNOON (2 P.M.) FOR THE NEXT THREE WEEKS. OAKTON COMMUNITY COLLEGE. 1600 GOLF. DES PLAINES. BE THERE OR DON'T BE COOL.

In other *see headline*...

I went easy on my shoulder tonight in baseball. Still a very productive practice, though. I'm getting something resembling confidence in my swing again and I know I'll be as steady as ever on defense if I can just get some reps in on a field soon. I also think I've been guaranteed my number 5!!! How cool will that be. This is ofcourse, if I can part with $350 in the next couple weeks.

Spring break has come. It will, as my "breaks" seem to go as of late, not really be a break at all. Nonetheless, Erin comes in on tuesday and this is the hell-week leading up to Midsummer openning night. I want to get some college stuff out of the way as well as do my honors project for my Shakespeare class before next week. I don't really see that happening, but it sounds so responsible to just say it anyway.

I want to nip this Sonja thing in the bud now. I don't want this to turn into something bad where I will be hurt which is what may happen if I don't figure some stuff out soon. She really is fantastic, but I'm not really all that great at reading signals of girls who are not the Erin I knew from 2001 - 2004. Wow. What a pathetic thing to say/realize... I hope its just because I haven't had these feelings for any other girl since Nicole.

Speaking of which, I really fucking miss that girl. She really was the best friend I could ever have. She always wanted to be with me, she always brought a smile to my face, she actually seemed to need me and I her much of the time. Yeah. I miss her. A lot. Again, its kinda weird that Sonja reminds me so much of her. Sonja is not as abrasive or aggressive (neither in a bad way or anything, don't get me wrong) as Nicole, but other than that, they are freakishly similar.

So, yeah Bloggers, come see Midsummer and if any of you are named Erin, Sonja, or Nicole, tell me what to do with you, because I am sure as hell not gonna rely on my own advice... I'm a hypocrite that way.

Now Playing: Townes Van Zandt - "Snake Mountain Blues"

It's My Birthday.

Fo' sho' it is.

Now Playing: Townes Van Zandt - "Kathleen"

VANNAE!

Now Playing: Mike Stanislawski - "lay them down"

Donnie Darko...

Humans; It's so strange that something that at one point can make you so wholly depressed and at another can create a smile across your face.

I finally saw Donnie Darko last nite. Holy god. What a film. Wonderfully ambitious. Watching the deleted scenes with the commentary on was kinda funny considering that the director was hoping to see every single one of the scenes in the film.

I also rented Alien vs. Predator tonight...

Well...

Not quite as good, but it was most definately not awful. In fact, it was better than that. It was more on the level of decent and entertaining. I don't know how many Paul Andersons there are in this world, but half of them make movies in Hollywood.

Hmmmm... Just read a post from a while ago. I think I've just realized that Erin may not be as good a friend to me as she thinks or that I let on... *aaaaand Mike realizes he has been saying this for a long time and only now begins to believe it*

Now Playing: Gary Jules - "Mad World"

Reading Way Too Much into Away Messages...

There is so much in this world I do not approve of and have no say in whatsoever. What I don't understand is why it gets to me. No one else seems bothered by these things. And yet, here I am, quelling the good mood I was in by staring blankly at away messages that just reinforce the fact that I am unique in the worst possible personal way.

Now Playing: Tortoise - "TNT"