Honestly?

Despite the fact that my life is quite empty (and not in the "melodramatic, ladder stages of tennagedom" sense, but in the "everyone I love and care for have been gone for over six months now and I feel left behind" sense), I cannot honestly say I didn't expect this leaving high school. But I most certainly didn't expect to be where I am, at a community college where (it seems) I am surrounded by drunken incompitance. Nor did I think I would be thinking back fondly on how much I miss riding the bus in 8 inches of snow, or going to rehearsal in our auditorium, or waking up at 4:00 a.m. for morning baseball practice, or participating in poetry slams, etc... I huess what I miss is the idea of being a part of something that liked being a part of me. I am an outgoing guy, but you wouldn't know it if you met me now, because of my empty feeling.

I was prom king, and the love of my life was prom queen. I was voted best personality. I was captain on four different sports. Now? I haven't spoken a word in the halls at O.C.C. since I got there. I'm the diligent student who sits in the corner, quietly. What can I say? I miss the things I worked so hard to achieve only to see them taken away from me at the most inopportune times...

I guess what I'm saying is that I cannot wait for spring break to come, when the people I go to school with now will all be in Florida trying to not remember their experience or how they got home, and the people I love will once again be here. Not to say they all are this day-and-night about the situation as I am, but all I want is to be wrapped up in the blanket of the past. Just for a while... Until I can figure some things out...